THE END

This year was not entirely what I had expected, except for the typical senior activities such as Friday night football games, dances, rallies and parties. Everything was right again, I was closer with my friends, I was getting good grades, on the track to going to college and I was finally feeling confident in myself. It seemed like I had it all. For the most part, I lived up to my senior year, but I lost sight of who I was. I pushed off my responsibilities, but despite that I was genuinely happy.

            Before I never felt good enough and that no matter if I did the best to my abilities, it was never enough. As it so happens I am very hard on myself and felt so much pressure to please others. When in reality I just needed to please myself. I started to focus more on myself and realized that people I cared deeply for did not care as much as they should have. So relationships were cut off and I moved forward with my life. My journey so far has been really rough, but I persevered. I realized that am enough and that I should always strive to do better than the day before. My value does not decrease because of someone’s inability to see my worth.

            I began on my path to find myself again. Before I thought I knew who exactly who I was, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do and now I’m clueless. Things were put into perspective and what I thought what I wanted is not what want for myself anymore. I need better; I need to be better for myself. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that I have accomplished something great, but if not I could always try again tomorrow. I’m ready to begin this new chapter in my life because in reality there is nothing left for me in this town. It has already given me everything it had to offer, both good and bad.

            I will be leaving everything and everyone that I have known, for a new beginning. This thought is truly scary. I fear the unknown, but I’m ready to take this risk. I have been going with the flow focusing on myself making sure that I get things done so that I am able to happy with all that I have done.

SEVENTH READING

A Thing of Beauty (Endymion) by John Keats

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: 
Its lovliness increases; it will never 
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep 
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep 
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. 
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing 
A flowery band to bind us to the earth, 
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth 
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days, 
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways 
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all, 
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall 
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon, 
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon 
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils 
With the green world they live in; and clear rills 
That for themselves a cooling covert make 
'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake, 
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms: 
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms 
We have imagined for the mighty dead; 
An endless fountain of immortal drink, 
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink. 

Life by Charlotte Bronte

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day. 
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ? 

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly ! 

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair ! 

Hope by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

We'll go no more a roving by Lord Byron

SO, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.
For the sword outwears its sheath,	5
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.
Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,	10
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.

As I Walked Out One Evening by W.H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror?
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on. 

ACT V NOTES

ACT IV NOTES

So I over read for the the Act III notes & incorporated the beginning of Act IV into my active reading notes. Oops.

THE CROSSROADS BETWEEN SHOULD & MUST

There has been something eating away at me for the past few months and I couldn't seem to put my finger on it. I constantly racked my thoughts for some sort of solution of why this was occurring and how to go about handling it. I was going mad trying to tackle this on my own.

While reading this article, I had an epiphany. I realized that was going about certain things in my life wrong. I have been living a life of Should and not of Must. Of course I have had spur of the moment adventures here and there, but my life has always been composed of things that I Should do. That I Should do what I was told, get good grades, behave, go straight to a four-year university, etc. I have always had a difficult time applying this concept, but did what I had to because this was the right thing to do. Right?

My rebellious and creative side wanted out. I want to travel, go to concerts, meet new people, create something spectacular, and basically have the time of my life. Then I was reminded that I had to have money to accomplish most of the things I wanted to do. But to make a lot of money I had to go college to get a good job to pay for all of the things I wanted to do. I was held back by fears of not knowing what would happen if I didn't go to college and just ventured off to do what made me the happiest. I just didn't know how to find a balance.

I have been told by multiple times by several people that "You'll be wasting your potential" or "You'll regret it if you don't go to college". This has been holding me back for the longest time because it's what I Should do and now what I Must. At times I have nightmares of failure and disappointment if I take these type of risks.

What I Must do at this point in time, is what is going to make me happiest in the long run. Who knows, maybe I will find my bliss down the line. For now, I just have to focus on incorporating the Must into my everyday life and just be happy doing things my way.

LOVE IS BLIND

Macbeth doesn't question Lady Macbeth's commands. He is always by her side even though he is treated as her lesser rather than an equal. In those times, men usually hold the power in the relationship but Lady Macbeth clearly holds the power. The reader can easily identify that Lady Macbeth is snarky, bossy & rude wife. Though Macbeth is completely oblivious. 

ACT III NOTES

MY MACBETH RESOURCES

http://shakespeare.mit.edu/macbeth/

http://www.shmoop.com/macbeth/

http://www.theatrehistory.com/british/macbeth001.html

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/353785/Macbeth

http://www.literary-quotations.com/m/macbeth.html

IS THERE AN EXPERT IN THE HOUSE (REVISED)

One of my experts would be Tyler Oakley, a well-known YouTuber, expert in all things pop culture, marketing & communications. He has received a degree from Michigan State University in communications, marketing/PR. He supports causes such as the Trevor Project, an organization that helps to prevent suicide among LGBTQ community. Tyler Oakley recently has raised over $250,000 for this amazing cause & this alone is phenomenal. He is able to bring together a large amount of people all over the world to make a difference. He is renowned for his big personality & opinions in the YouTube community, but he is also an inspirational philanthropist.

He has inspired me to pursue my goals and make a difference for those around me. I would email him & ask him the various ways I can improve my site (once launched), such as:

• How do I attract a wider audience or should I stick to a specific group?
• How would I go about self-promotion?
• What content would interest my audience the most?
• Should my site be both personal & impersonal or just one of the two?
• Should I post my own opinion or the opinions of other on certain topics?
• What should or shouldn't post to my site?
• I want to make a difference in those lives around me, how would I make an impactful impression to my audience? 
• How do I make this site my own?

THIS IS ONLY A TEST

I am so critical of my work & of myself. At times I believe that my work is not good enough & that it can be so much more than it already is. I believe that is a good mentality to have, but I never know where to go from there. I get stuck. I cannot get out of this mindset & it is preventing me from moving forward. This is my test. Being satisfied with my work and being able to launch it with pride. If I launch it this weekend I will pass. I can always fix it or update it along the way. This is my goal for the week & I hope to accomplish it & overcome this obstacle.

Pre-Write for Brave New World

Learning (In A) Brave New World

I have finished Brave New World this past week & I was left confused. I was left to think "what was I supposed to get out of this?" I did not get the allusion behind the novel. I was confused about the island & the Savage John. 

Not everyone had finished when had so I was led hanging there to figure it out on my own. Though what we all had finished & were able to discuss I understood fairly well. 

10 Questions

1. How would I market my site?

2. How do I cite other websites on my page?

3. How do I keep my readers interested?

4. Would I be able to turn this into an actual business/magazine one day?

5. What shouldn't I put on my site? 

6. Should I focus on one topic area or a broad spectrum?

7. How did you know you wanted to do this for a living? 

8. Do you have any regrets about your ventures?

9. What would you recommend, for me, to go about running a popular site?

10. Who should I network with?

BRAVE NEW ESSAY TOPIC

http://www.cibacs.org/teacherpages/jbronkar/PDFs/Brave%20New%20World%20prompt.pdf

A Difference of Opinion About Utopia:
Compare & conrast the views that at least three characters have of the Brave New World they live(d) in. What about their upbringing has lead to their contrasting opinions of specific aspects of this world? Ideas to consider: How does each character view identity, disease, censorship, history, old age, drugs, brainwashing etc.Why do some "fit in" while others don't?

Lit. Terms: List #6

simile: a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared

soliloquy: the act of talking while or as if alone

spiritual: of. pertaining to, or consisting of spirit; religious song; closely akin to interests, outlook, attitude, etc.

speaker: a person who speaks; orator, lecturer

stereotype: a set form; a simplified & standardized conception or image invested with special meaning & held in common by members of a group

stream of consciousness: interior monologue; manner of writing in which a character's thoughts or perceptions are presented as occurring in random form, w/o regard for logical sequences, syntactic structure, distinctions between various levels of reality, or the like

structure: the relationship or organization of the component parts of a work of art or literature

style: a particular, kind, sort or type, as w/ reference to form, appearance or character

subordination: the act of placing in a lower rank or position

surrealism: a movement in art & literature in the 1920's, which developed esp from dada, characterized by the evocative juxtaposition of incongruous images in order to include unconscious & dream elements

suspension of disbelief: a willingness to suspend one's critical faculties & believe the unbelievable; sacrifice of realism & logic for the sake of enjoyment

symbol: something that represents or stands for something else, usually by convention or association, especially a material object used to represent something abstract

synesthesia: a sensation produced in one modality when a stimulus is applied to another modality, as when the hearing of a certain sound induces the visualization of a certain color

syntax: the study of patterns of formations of sentences & phrases from words

theme: a unifying or dominant idea, motif, etc.

thesis: a proposition stated or put forward for consideration, especially one to be discussed or proved to be maintained against objections

tone: a particular quality, way of sounding, modulation or tone of voice as expressive of some meaning, feeling, spirit, etc.

tongue in cheek:

tragedy: a dramatic composition, often in verse, dealing w/ a serious or somber theme, typically that of a great person destined through a flaw of a character or conflict w/ some underlying force, as fate or society, to downfall or destruction

understatement: the act or an instance of stating something in restrained terms, or less than it is

vernacular: expressed or written in a native language or place , as literary works

voice: to give utterance or expression to; declare, proclaim

zeitgeist: the spirit of the time; general trend, thought or feeling characteristic of a particular time period

RESOURCE FOR MY MASTERPIECE

I want to be able to travel across the globe, learn & help others. This site is the International Student Volunteers program. This will provide me with the experiences I seek & do what I love.

http://www.isvolunteers.org/

HAVTA/WANNA

As of now in high school we are following the curriculum that the states requires (HAVTA), for the most part. The basics: mathematics, literature, writing, social sciences, etc. These core classes have little comparison for what I actually WANNA do & study. What really peaks my interest are helping others, social media, traveling & experiencing life. Of course there are some underlying principles that are in these various things from my core classes, but so far there is not an actual class, that I have discovered in high school, that can teach me these things. 

Everyday in an opportunity to learn, whether it be by succeeding or failing. By these two things we essentially grow. We evaluate the situation in front of us & figure out how we can go from there. I believe that one is able to carry this with them in life. I believe that one's core values stay with them as they grow & experience life & alter them to see fit. There is ultimately no rapid & magical transformation, just a steady growth.

I balance the things that I WANNA do & the things that I HAVTA to do by doing the things I want to first. Strange, I know. This way I can satiate my craving & get it out of the way so that I can put my complete focus on my tasks at hand. I hope to raise the bar of expectations gradually as I continue on in life. I do not want to be pressured & stressed & not get the end result that I would like. I will work at a pace that I am most comfortable with & then push myself to see how far I am able to go. Maybe this will all change, who knows? Only time will tell. I will just stick with this strategy for now.

Lit. Terms: List #5

parallelism: agreement in direction, tendency, or character; grammar repetition of a syntactic construction in successive sentences for rhetorical effect

parody: a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious place of literature or writing

pathos: appeal to emotions

pedantry: the habit or an instance of being a pedant, especially in the display of useless knowledge or minute observance of petty rules or details; pretension, precision

personification: the attribution of human nature or character to human animals, inanimate objects, or abstract notions, especially as a rhetorical figure

plot: storyline the plan, scheme, or main story of a literary or dramatic work, as a play, novel, or short story

poignant: keenly distressing to the feelings; heartbreaking, penetrating

point of view: the position of a narrator in relation to the story, as indicated by the narrator's outlook from which the events are depicted & by the attitude towards the characters; 1st, 2nd, & 3rd person

post modernism: any of a number of trends or movements in the arts or literature developing in the 1970's in reaction to or rejection to dogma, principles, or practices of established modernism; playful illusion, decoration or complexity

prose: the ordinary form of spoken or written language, w/o metrical structure as distinguished from poetry or verse

protagonist: the leading character, hero/heroine of a drama or other literary work

pun: the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of works that are alike or nearly alike in sound, but in a different meaning; play on words

purpose: the reason for which something exists or done, made, used, etc.; an intended or desired result

realism: a manner of treating a subject matter that represents a careful description of everyday life, usually of the middle & lower classes; a theory of writing in which the ordinary, familiar, or mundane aspects of life are represented in a straightforward or matter-of-fact manner that is presumed to reflect life as it actually is

refrain:a phrase or verse recurring at intervals in a song or poem, especially at the end of each stanza; chorus

requiem: any musical service, hymn, or dirge for the repose of the dead

resolution: the act of determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

restatement: to state again or in a new way

rhetoric: (in writing or speech) the undue use of exaggeration or display; the study of a technique of using language effectively

rhetorical question: a question solely to produce an effect or use an assertion & not to elicit a reply

rising action: a related series of incidents in a literary plot that builds towards the point of greatest interest

romanticism: Romantic style or movement in literature & art, or adherence to its principles (contrasted w/ Classicism)

satire: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

scansion: the metrical analysis of verse

setting: the surroundings or environment of anything