There has been something eating away at me for the past few months and I couldn't seem to put my finger on it. I constantly racked my thoughts for some sort of solution of why this was occurring and how to go about handling it. I was going mad trying to tackle this on my own.
While reading this article, I had an epiphany. I realized that was going about certain things in my life wrong. I have been living a life of Should and not of Must. Of course I have had spur of the moment adventures here and there, but my life has always been composed of things that I Should do. That I Should do what I was told, get good grades, behave, go straight to a four-year university, etc. I have always had a difficult time applying this concept, but did what I had to because this was the right thing to do. Right?
My rebellious and creative side wanted out. I want to travel, go to concerts, meet new people, create something spectacular, and basically have the time of my life. Then I was reminded that I had to have money to accomplish most of the things I wanted to do. But to make a lot of money I had to go college to get a good job to pay for all of the things I wanted to do. I was held back by fears of not knowing what would happen if I didn't go to college and just ventured off to do what made me the happiest. I just didn't know how to find a balance.
I have been told by multiple times by several people that "You'll be wasting your potential" or "You'll regret it if you don't go to college". This has been holding me back for the longest time because it's what I Should do and now what I Must. At times I have nightmares of failure and disappointment if I take these type of risks.
What I Must do at this point in time, is what is going to make me happiest in the long run. Who knows, maybe I will find my bliss down the line. For now, I just have to focus on incorporating the Must into my everyday life and just be happy doing things my way.
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