THE END

This year was not entirely what I had expected, except for the typical senior activities such as Friday night football games, dances, rallies and parties. Everything was right again, I was closer with my friends, I was getting good grades, on the track to going to college and I was finally feeling confident in myself. It seemed like I had it all. For the most part, I lived up to my senior year, but I lost sight of who I was. I pushed off my responsibilities, but despite that I was genuinely happy.

            Before I never felt good enough and that no matter if I did the best to my abilities, it was never enough. As it so happens I am very hard on myself and felt so much pressure to please others. When in reality I just needed to please myself. I started to focus more on myself and realized that people I cared deeply for did not care as much as they should have. So relationships were cut off and I moved forward with my life. My journey so far has been really rough, but I persevered. I realized that am enough and that I should always strive to do better than the day before. My value does not decrease because of someone’s inability to see my worth.

            I began on my path to find myself again. Before I thought I knew who exactly who I was, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do and now I’m clueless. Things were put into perspective and what I thought what I wanted is not what want for myself anymore. I need better; I need to be better for myself. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that I have accomplished something great, but if not I could always try again tomorrow. I’m ready to begin this new chapter in my life because in reality there is nothing left for me in this town. It has already given me everything it had to offer, both good and bad.

            I will be leaving everything and everyone that I have known, for a new beginning. This thought is truly scary. I fear the unknown, but I’m ready to take this risk. I have been going with the flow focusing on myself making sure that I get things done so that I am able to happy with all that I have done.

SEVENTH READING

A Thing of Beauty (Endymion) by John Keats

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: 
Its lovliness increases; it will never 
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep 
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep 
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. 
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing 
A flowery band to bind us to the earth, 
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth 
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days, 
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways 
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all, 
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall 
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon, 
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon 
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils 
With the green world they live in; and clear rills 
That for themselves a cooling covert make 
'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake, 
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms: 
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms 
We have imagined for the mighty dead; 
An endless fountain of immortal drink, 
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink. 

Life by Charlotte Bronte

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day. 
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ? 

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly ! 

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair ! 

Hope by Emily Dickinson

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

We'll go no more a roving by Lord Byron

SO, we'll go no more a-roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.
For the sword outwears its sheath,	5
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And love itself have rest.
Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,	10
Yet we'll go no more a-roving
By the light of the moon.

As I Walked Out One Evening by W.H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror?
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on. 

ACT V NOTES

ACT IV NOTES

So I over read for the the Act III notes & incorporated the beginning of Act IV into my active reading notes. Oops.

THE CROSSROADS BETWEEN SHOULD & MUST

There has been something eating away at me for the past few months and I couldn't seem to put my finger on it. I constantly racked my thoughts for some sort of solution of why this was occurring and how to go about handling it. I was going mad trying to tackle this on my own.

While reading this article, I had an epiphany. I realized that was going about certain things in my life wrong. I have been living a life of Should and not of Must. Of course I have had spur of the moment adventures here and there, but my life has always been composed of things that I Should do. That I Should do what I was told, get good grades, behave, go straight to a four-year university, etc. I have always had a difficult time applying this concept, but did what I had to because this was the right thing to do. Right?

My rebellious and creative side wanted out. I want to travel, go to concerts, meet new people, create something spectacular, and basically have the time of my life. Then I was reminded that I had to have money to accomplish most of the things I wanted to do. But to make a lot of money I had to go college to get a good job to pay for all of the things I wanted to do. I was held back by fears of not knowing what would happen if I didn't go to college and just ventured off to do what made me the happiest. I just didn't know how to find a balance.

I have been told by multiple times by several people that "You'll be wasting your potential" or "You'll regret it if you don't go to college". This has been holding me back for the longest time because it's what I Should do and now what I Must. At times I have nightmares of failure and disappointment if I take these type of risks.

What I Must do at this point in time, is what is going to make me happiest in the long run. Who knows, maybe I will find my bliss down the line. For now, I just have to focus on incorporating the Must into my everyday life and just be happy doing things my way.

LOVE IS BLIND

Macbeth doesn't question Lady Macbeth's commands. He is always by her side even though he is treated as her lesser rather than an equal. In those times, men usually hold the power in the relationship but Lady Macbeth clearly holds the power. The reader can easily identify that Lady Macbeth is snarky, bossy & rude wife. Though Macbeth is completely oblivious. 

ACT III NOTES